Why WE care about this
First, thank you for being part of this community. We are just so grateful for how God continues to bring amazing people here!
Secondly, we strongly desire for Godly relationships to happen and blossom into Christ-centered marriages. That brings us great joy!
That said, we know that Godly relationships don’t just happen—they’re cultivated with intention, wisdom, and care. And when they are, they don’t take away from us; they add. They strengthen, and they protect. (Not just you, but the other person, and even the church & body of Christ).
So as our church continues to grow, we want to offer guidance—not to restrict, but to help.
To help you honor God, to help you guard your heart, and to help you care well for the person you may be considering. Because when relationships are pursued in a Christ-centered way with clarity and purpose, they become a source of life, not confusion.
You will agree—Godly relationships should feel different. They should hit different as we all try to honor God and each other.
IGNITE’S GUIDE TO DATING
1) Date with C.O.V.E.N.A.N.T.
Ignite has an 8-week sermon series, titled “C.O.V.E.N.A.N.T. Dating”. It provides guidance from before you are even thinking about relationships or marriage, through to how to handle the whole process. Many have found it really helpful!
2) Date one at a time
Please do not date (or approach for dating) multiple people at the same time. As you should agree, it is not respectful of the people or God.
3) Got someone in mind? Say something to the pastors!
There will be conversations, sparks and so on — all good. When you are interested in dating someone in the church, go about it prayerfully (we suggest you follow the C.O.V.E.N.A.N.T. Dating Model referenced above) and we strongly encourage you to mention it to the pastors.
The goal of this is to support you in that process. This has so many benefits (see part 6 of the C.O.V.E.N.A.N.T. series for more details).
4) Approach & be approached with honor & Godliness
As you approach someone to “get to know them”, do so with honor and Godliness. Disrespect, lustfulness, and inappropriateness will not be tolerated. If you need help, speak to a leader or the pastors. (Not sure who the leaders are? Find them by clicking here.)
That said, if you are being approached, it is possible that someone may approach you in a way that you don't like or may not meet “your standards”. It happens. Sometimes, it’s due to a lack of knowledge, mentoring, social awareness or even poor mental health. If that happens:
Respond with honor and Godliness and politely decline the approach.
If there is any inappropriateness, or you don’t feel safe in any way, immediately flag it to the pastors. The contact form below goes directly to Pastors Tobi and Bukky.
5) If things don't work, choose honor and refrain from slander
In this process, not every “talking” phase will result in a relationship and not every relationship will result in marriage. There may be conflict or offense (especially when you don't follow the C.O.V.E.N.A.N.T Dating Model). If that happens, it is especially important that you take care of each other out there:
Notify the pastors so that we can counsel you both through that process
Maintain mutual respect
6) The safety of the men and women in this community is paramount.
If anyone is acting in a way that is disrespectful, harassing, inappropriate, unsafe, suspicious, or unchristianly, please flag it to the pastors right away.
That's it! Take care of each other out there. We are praying for you (and excited to support you on your dating — and ultimately, marriage — journey!)
Love you all!
~ Pastors Tobi and Bukky